


Excellent Taste

by taschenrechner



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Demiromantic Jonathan Sims, M/M, Trans Martin Blackwood, scottish honeymoon fic time babey!!, theyre really sappy and awkward in this one lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23651476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taschenrechner/pseuds/taschenrechner
Summary: Martin could only stare some more. It's not that he didn't believe Jon, the man was incapable of lying and had no reason to do so.Just… the thought that he caused anyone's sexuality crisis was well - laughable, so he couldn't stop himself from blurting out, "You realized you liked guys because - because of me?"Or: Jon and Martin talk sexuality.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 45
Kudos: 451





	Excellent Taste

**Author's Note:**

> What's up everyone!! First time writer here, I have no idea what I'm doing, but had some lovely people (Mousecookie and tienfleur) look over it for me and give me some wonderful feedback!  
> Tbh I only wrote this because I wanted to get my own sexuality headcanon for Jon out there and that's very hard to do via art but then it got a little bit away from me...hope you enjoy!

It had been nine days since they arrived at the safehouse together. 

Nine unbelievable days since the all-consuming fog finally lifted off Martin’s shoulders for the first time in nearly six months to reveal Jon of all people, kneeling in front of him, desperately begging for him to see, to understand, to come back. 

An unfathomable amount of bloodshot piercing eyes boring into him with such intensity, as if they were starved and he was the only thing that could satisfy their hunger. 

But underneath them was still just Jon, soaked in Peter Lukas' blood, even more fragile and tired than Martin remembered ever seeing him.

There was a stark contrast between that Jon and the one who was currently emerging from the small, plain bathroom of the safehouse that was connected to their shared bedroom, quietly humming a tune to himself. 

He always seemed more content after taking a shower, changing out of his clothes and brushing his teeth. Something about the routine, he told Martin, that grounded him and calmed the ever present storm of thoughts raging behind Jonathan Sims' eyes.

With a small sigh he settled under their blanket, ignoring the other bed in the room like he did on the previous eight nights in favor of cramming himself on the small space of the bed that was not occupied by Martin yet. 

Sleeping tended to be a bit uncomfortable because of the lack of space, but often being woken up in the night by an accidental kick or the knowledge of being 5 seconds away from falling out of bed was a small mercy compared to the dreams. For both of them.

Jon did not leave it at just sharing a blanket, of course. He snuggled as close as possible, throwing one arm and one leg over Martin's body, ice cold feet pressing into his calves which always earned him a high pitched shriek, which Jon in turn met with an amused snort and pressing even closer. 

It made Martin feel - it made him feel a lot of things alright? Things that were far too embarrassing to speak out loud, but not too embarrassing to have been clumsily scrawled into the red spiral bound notebook Jon found in one of the kitchen drawers and tentatively pressed into Martin's hands for "Uhm well y-your poetry, in case you want to write again, I mean. I think you should have it." 

Martin put his arm around the smaller man in turn, the need to protect Jon from all the cruelty that kept finding him somehow rising in his chest again. If only it were that easy.

He had never taken Jon to be the tactile type. Back when Sasha was still just Sasha, and Tim still wore that crooked smile on his lips instead of a depressed scowl, Jon would always flinch away. 

At first, when Martin handed him a cup of tea, still full of naive hope that  _ that _ could be the thing that finally made him like Martin, and Jon almost dropped the steaming contents over an important statement file when their fingers brushed - well. Well, Martin had thought it was just him that Jon recoiled from. But after Tim clapping a friendly hand on his shoulder or Sasha nudging Jon's arm with hers got the same reaction, it seemed apparent enough that Jonathan Sims was not comfortable with touch at all. 

Now Martin could confidently say that Jon was indeed comfortable with touch from the way his clammy hands lingered on Martin's whenever possible, his head rested on Martin’s shoulder no matter how uncomfortable the position may be for Jon, from the clumsy, hesitant kisses he planted on Martin’s cheek whenever possible.

It just took him some time to get comfortable with people. 

Luckily, Martin had always been a rather patient individual.

When they had made their journey back from the Lonely to London, and then from London to Scotland, Jon had stubbornly refused to let go of his hand, no matter how it made him fumble at times to only have one hand available, or how sweaty their palms became after just the first 10 minutes. Martin had hardly been able to process it but had been immensely grateful to have something to ground him to reality anyway.

To think that after their undeniably rocky start, Jon had risked his life for him, returned his feelings, and wanted to pursue an actual romantic relationship with him still seemed... overwhelming. 

The fact that he could think of Jon as his boyfriend now.

Finally Jon's voice, muffled from how his face was pressed against Martin's side, pulled him back to the present, the past slowly dissipating from his mind like morning fog.

"I can hear you thinking from over here. Mind sharing?" Jon's tone was fond as- well as it had been ever since they emerged from the Lonely together and the question carefully phrased so Martin could answer with yes or no in case a bit of compulsion slipped through despite Jon's best efforts.

"Oh, you know, just reminiscing," he replied teasingly and tightened his arm around Jon a bit. 

The other man lifted his head at that, curiosity with a tinge of hunger for information apparent in his eyes.

"Ah? Good things I hope. Is it anything worth writing down? I could get you your Notebook."

Martin tried to suppress a snort but failed rather miserably. Jon's sudden fixation on that particular hobby of his was inexplicable to him, but at the same time infinitely endearing. 

"No, no, I don't think so, just you know, thinking about everything… How much has changed since...the beginning." 

Jon's face scrunched up in a mix of humiliation and distaste as it always did when he had to think about anything his past self had ever done at any point in time.

"Nothing bad!" Martin quickly tried to reassure him, "Just uhm," he debated lying about his current train of thought, but decided that with Jon almost on top of him, wearing only boxer shorts with holes in them and a comically oversized t-shirt that Martin was almost certain had belonged to him at some point- a bit of emotional vulnerability couldn't hurt. 

"Back then, I never would've thought I had a chance with you. Not in a million years!" He couldn't help throwing his hands up a little bit at that. His animated way of talking had been the cause of many elbows in Jon's face though, so he quickly lowered them again. "I-I'd uhm imagine stuff like this," his hands involuntarily rose up again to gesture at their position while a light flush spread across his face. 

"It seemed safe to imagine because I knew nothing would ever come off it. You hated me so much back then…" He trailed off when he saw Jon's intensely miserable expression at that. 

Of course, trust Martin to completely ruin the mood by not thinking about how what he was saying would come out. Jon already hated himself so unbearably much, the last thing he wanted was to add to that. Especially not about stuff that was well in the past and Jon had more than made up for now.

Without thinking, he tried to soften the blow by adding, "And I wasn't even sure you, you know, liked guys! Or uhm anyone for that matter, heh."

Apparently being around Jon still had that effect on him, even after all this time. 

It was true though, he couldn't help wondering back then, even if he was sure of not having a chance anyway.

Still he had to repress the urge to facepalm because he knew that Jon did not like discussing this kind of stuff at all. 

The one time anything regarding sexuality had come up between them was after a particular make out session on the couch that well - got Martin a bit too hot and bothered alright? 

One moment Jon had been kissing down his neck rather intensely, his teeth scraping against skin which led to Martin letting out a moan that was in retrospect far too loud and very much demonstrated just how worked up a couple of kisses had gotten him. The next moment, Jon had unceremoniously scrambled off the couch and from a safe distance confessed to his aversion to "anything regarding sex really if I'm being honest- I, ah, do quite enjoy the kissing and touching of non-sexual nature and I don't m-mind you doing, you know,  _ that _ , just - I'm not comfortable with anything beyond that. I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to tell you sooner and I-I'm sorry if I led you on." 

He'd never seen Jon that uncomfortable before, jaw clenched, hands wringing uselessly in front of him and eyes directed at the cat paw print socks he'd been wearing.

Logically Martin knew he should have been a bit disappointed that his fantasies of the hm - more explicit nature regarding the Archivist, that had occupied his head instead of his actual work a few years back, would never play out in reality, but all his brain had supplied him with was "Ah, that does explain some stuff." 

It was a thought that he did not voice, because well - it seemed insensitive; no one liked comments about their sexuality like that. Martin certainly didn't.

Instead he patted the space next to him on the couch and spent the next couple of minutes reassuring Jon that it was no problem at all and setting actual boundaries so they were on the same page.

Just as he was about to apologize, Jon answered after some contemplating. "Well, that's understandable really. I was completely unaware of the fact that I liked men at that point anyway, so it's - it's not like  _ you _ could've known when I ah-," a slight pause, "-hadn't come to that conclusion myself."

Oh. That was a bit of a surprise to Martin, after all Jon was in his early thirties. Martin had his first crush on a boy when he had been in first grade and it had been a disaster just like all his later crushes turned out to be. 

Still a somewhat late discovery of sexuality was not unheard of. He was more curious about the fact that Jon seemed comfortable enough to engage with the subject. 

Encouraged, he kept rambling. "Y-Yeah! After Tim and Sasha found out about my crush on you, which you know was early on, it became a whole  _ thing _ . They wouldn't stop talking about it!" Their boss had always been a popular topic among the three of them. Imitating first Tim and then Sasha he went on. " _ Did you see what the boss was wearing today? Oh you guys wait till you hear what i just overheard Jon saying! _ Actually, after Tim's unsuccessful attempt to flirt with you he was sure that you must be straight." 

Jon snorted and mumbled, "How very Tim of him." He still remembered the aftermath of that particular disaster, Jon wouldn't meet Tim's eyes for a week straight.

Martin continued. "But then one day you wore nail polish to the office and all bets were off again! N-not not that something like that is indicative of sexuality or anything, I mean I'm as, as gay as they come and I'm not really into it but ah...yeah. It was embarrassing." He trailed off.

God, even overlooking how hot the nail polish had looked on Jon, it had been such a stark contrast to his usual professional look consisting of pressed suits that were just a little too large on him, clean white shirts and an immaculate tie, no nail polish found anywhere.

Martin still remembered the first time he had seen Jon in casual clothing at 7 AM on a Sunday, when no one had any business to be at the archives except for Martin because well - he lived there! 

Absolutely nothing on this earth could have prepared him for the loose jeans and faded black band t-shirt Jon had worn when he walked in, his short hair not even gelled back as it usually was.

The fact that Martin himself was only wearing his underpants and a t-shirt, did not even have his binder on yet, barely registered.

Jon let out a huff and cracked open an eye at that. "No, I would not say that the nail polish was in any way indicative of my sexuality...I...I'm not sure where it came from. A sudden burst of confidence or perhaps nostalgia regarding my uni days." 

Oh Martin was so intrigued. Jon wearing nail polish had been a regular thing? He didn't want to push the matter since the conversation was already on a rather sensitive subject though, no need to bring up even more from the past. Instead he gave Jon a playful smile and a thought popped into his head. 

"It looked very good on you! If you ever feel like it we could get some the next time we're down at the village. I'll even paint mine...uhm maybe!" 

To demonstrate his point he wiggled his fingers in front of Jon's face before sinking one hand into his long, salt and pepper curls and scratching his skull gently. 

That earned him a happy sigh from Jon, who closed his eyes again and settled against Martin's chest. 

Normally he was out within 10 minutes of this, and Martin had been pretty sure that their conversation ended there right before Jon decided to speak up again. "You know I only realized that I wasn't straight because of you. You were my, ah, gay awakening I suppose." At those words he lazily raised one hand to make air quotes but did only sound a little bit sarcastic. "Or uhm, bi awakening is perhaps more fitting uh…" 

At that Jon's face scrunched up in distaste again which was only a little bit adorable and to be expected really. If there was one thing Jonathan Sims was as uncomfortable with as the subject of sex it was labeling himself. In their previous discussion Jon didn't use the term asexual at all even if Martin was pretty sure he checked all the boxes. In turn he didn't mention it either because, well, that was Jon's business not his, and while labels had always helped  _ him _ a lot, he got how they could be constricting or uncomfortable to other people.

It was only then that his words began to settle in and Martin's hand stopped abruptly. "What," was the one thing he settled on saying, eventually mouth hanging open slightly, craning his neck to look down at Jon a bit more comfortably.

Martin's unmoving hand prompted an unhappy grumble from Jon who had probably been looking forward to some more scratches but Martin was still a little bit too dumbstruck to really do anything.

"Yes well I think that was definitely one factor that led to me taking such a long time to realize my, ah, feelings regarding you. It did not really cross my mind until I was suddenly wondering what it would be like to kiss you before the Unknowing. Or Georgie pointed out just how much time I spent talking about you...You sprung quite the sexuality crisis on me there, impeccable timing as usual with the both of us," he ended his thought dry amusement evident in his voice, which yeah...good timing had never been their forte exactly.

When Martin did not reply Jon cracked his eyes open again and, upon seeing Martin's expression lifted his head to more comfortably look at his face bewildered. 

"Why do you look so surprised?" 

Martin could only stare some more. It's not that he didn't believe Jon, the man was incapable of lying and had no reason to do so.

Just… the thought that he caused anyone's sexuality crisis was well - laughable so he couldn't stop himself from blurting out,"You realized you liked guys because - because of  _ me _ ?" 

Jon studied his face for a moment (Martin wondered once again if his eyes had always been that piercing) before answering rather dryly. "Yes Martin I did not previously feel the urge to make out on an extremely uncomfortable couch for hours with a guy." 

Martin let out a surprised laugh at that. It was still a bit strange to hear Jon say stuff like that. Especially about him.

After a small pause Jon continued, "To be honest - well you know I'm not sexually attracted to- ah, a-a-anyone. And romantic attraction has been...rare as well. Exclusively with people that I had already known for a long time and including you? That's only been three so far. I...I believe I'm still more attracted to women in general but definitely not exclusively. A 75/25 kind of thing rather, which in retrospect makes a lot of sense. There were clues that I did not pick up on before...before meeting you. I am...not that in tune with my emotions as the majority of people as you have no doubt noticed."

He stopped talking abruptly at that, as if he'd just realized how long his answer had gotten. In addition a deep flush was noticeable under his already dark skin which was...impossibly endearing. Still not his favorite subject then.

Martin would need hours to process that because - wow. But for now, he knew Jon definitely needed him to say something reassuring since he'd just opened up like that.

"I-I, I'm glad I could h-help? I- wow, thanks for telling me uh- I would've never guessed-," he cringed at his own incoherence.

Promptly Jon interrupted "why are you so surprised?" His dark eyes again roaming over Martin's face, searching for any hints that could answer his question.

"Well…" he did not like being self-deprecating, but he also really did not like lying to Jon (when it was unnecessary at least), which led to his eventual answer. "I-I mean look at me. I'm not exactly much to look at on my best days and uh…" He trailed off again when Jon's eyes narrowed. 

It was true though, Martin wasn't a good-looking guy. He was round in awkward places, thin in even more awkward places and awkwardly tall on top of that. His round face was speckled with old acne scars that had been with him ever since he started T and his facial hair was nothing to be impressed by either. Even ignoring that, Martin knew he looked plain at best. No beautiful face structure, striking eyes, strong jaw or gorgeous hair just, well...Martin.

Jon was now sitting up, fully awake and ready to throw down which to be fair Martin should have probably expected.

"That's not true! I really like looking at you, y-you are very...uhm, attractive." The words sounded alien on Jon's tongue even to him and Martin could not stop himself from letting out a tiny snort. 

"Jon, you don't have to- I dated other people before, and they never failed to let me know that I should be grateful that anyone would- would want me at all." Which was possibly related to his ah, how did anyone he's ever met put it? Atrocious taste in men. But surely not all of it.

Before Jon could get more defensive, Martin added, "It doesn't really matter to me that I'm not conventionally attractive though. You just surprised me, that's all, really."

Jon closed his mouth again, brows furrowed deeply. "Conventionally attractive," he repeated with notable distaste. He huffed out a breath and chose to look up at the ceiling instead of Martin's face for now, indicative of the fact that he was about to say something he felt at least a bit self-conscious about. 

"People have bad taste, then. I don't get what about you is not attractive!" He threw his hands up at that and shot a questioning look at Martin or maybe the rest of earth's population, heh.

"You are soft and big and it's impossible to not feel the urge to hug you or be hugged by you. Your smile is- well it's beautiful and honest and I could listen to your voice for hours which I have when you were...away the last few months. And when you stopped shaving," oh god Jon was for some reason about to say something even more mortifying, wasn't he? Martin's face was already on fire; this could not end well. "I couldn't stop imagining what it would feel like against my skin. I couldn't get proper work done for hours." 

After a small pause he added almost inaudibly, "also, ah I suppose I i did always have a bit of a thing for glasses…"

Martin had long since buried his head underneath the blanket. He was going to die. Jon would say one more thing and Martin's molecules would decide that forming a unit had maybe not been such a good idea after all. This was it! But honestly? All things considered, that was a very nice note to go out on, Martin thought. He'd imagined way worse for himself in the past (which was rather common for their line of work probably).

Jon's hand finding its way under the blanket interrupted his train of thought, searching blindly for Martin's own. 

After a couple of seconds Martin grabbed it and Jon's thumb started stroking the skin on the back of his hand gently. God he loved this man.

"I'm sorry if I, ah, overstepped a line. I-I didn't mean to…" he trailed off not knowing what to say apparently. 

Martin shook his head before realizing that Jon probably couldn't see that and eventually squeaked "No, no that was...nice to hear, I wasn't aware that's how you felt about me- I know, I know i should be with all the- well, everything, but it's still something else to actually hear it." 

At that Jon's head popped under the blanket next to his own. 

With a playful smirk he asked "would you prefer me to demonstrate it physically instead of verbally?" Probably thought he was being smooth. 

Luckily for him Martin didn't much care for smoothness, especially not when it came to Jonathan Sims, so he met him for the kiss halfway.

**Author's Note:**

> Some feedback/constructive criticism would be very much appreciated!


End file.
